Los Angeles native and actress Lillian Carrier, is groundbreaking in more ways than one. Carrier, who has autism, recently made her acting debut this year as Drea, the girlfriend and best friend of Matilda (Kayla Cromer), also on the autism spectrum, on Freeform’s new hit series Everything’s Gonna Be Okay. An exciting new venture that happened by chance after a jobs coach encouraged her to try out for the role- her character on the show explores the meaning of queerness in 2021 through examining various aspects of intimacy, love, partnership, and asexuality along with ableism, family relationships, and grief, sometimes across the course of a single episode. With Drea being homo-romantic asexual- she’s romantically attracted to people of the same sex, but she’s not sexually attracted to anyone- her character’s relationship with Matilda fills the gap for authentic portrayal of asexuality that has eluded Hollywood for a long time.

Unlike other shows that are centered on differently abled people- Hollywood has a less than stellar track record of portraying and writing about the experiences of people with autism- Everything Is Gonna Be Okay never tokenizes its characters and instead it opens up a neurodiverse world that better reflects the world we inhabit, looking at the wide variety of experiences that autistic people have. Initially using acting as a way to improve her social skills, Carrier was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at the age of 16, after many misdiagnoses. She transferred between three different colleges that didn’t fit her needs. Today, she works to create an individual path for those on the spectrum to find their way through her activism and Our Tism, a non-profit created by her mother, Gail Carrier and where her sister Chloe, who also has autism, is a fellow co-founder.

With acting experience both on stage and behind the camera, Lillian Carrier is all too aware of Hollywood’s overacting problem of finding it inconvenient to speak with, accommodate, and cast the actual individuals that they are looking to portray, taking the easy way out by casting a neurotypical actor, finding them easier to work with. Through her work, she is seeking to end the struggles of those who are on the spectrum earlier in life and cast a wide net for what they can accomplish.

Rival Mag LA caught up with Lillian to discuss what she’s learned about fighting for the accurate portrayal of autistic characters in Hollywood, her acclaimed Freeform series Everything Is Gonna Be Okay, sexuality on the spectrum, and more.

Your work around ensuring autism is authentically portrayed on screen is so important and necessary. When going for roles on various film sets, has your activism around autism always been accepted?

Yes, so far the few roles I landed have been very accepting of my activism. Luckily, I landed in environments who cared so much. “NCIS New Orleans” already had an autistic crew member and they were very supportive of the disability community. They knew I was capable and just supported me to do my best.

I just landed a neurotypical role. I am so grateful I was given that chance. Even not playing an autistic character - they still accommodated my needs.

Your character has the first queer, autistic relationship on TV. What reception have you gotten to this? What would do you want people to know about autistic individuals and their sexuality / ability to have relationships?

Everyone loves Drea and it’s been overwhelmingly positive. I have heard that for so many reasons Drea is the first-time people are seeing themselves on screen. It is rare to see myself on screen so I know how much it means to have that moment. I am honored to be a part of people’s lives in such a positive way

For me, Michael from “Roswell” (1999) was one of the few times I saw myself. I connected with his huge effort to try and be good, but never able to succeed and didn’t know why. I would say things growing up where I thought I was being kind, but with my honesty people took it as me being mean. Michael worked so hard but could never quite feel a part of things.

Drea is in a not as common type of relationship, but a valid one. Hopefully, she is able to normalize that romantic relationships don’t have to look one way. Drea is in an open relationship and while Drea is fictional, there are real people in open relationships and that is a perfectly acceptable way to love someone. The autism population overlaps a lot with the queer population. It’s important to show what autism really is and it is gay. Autistic people are sexual people. Often times I have been infantilized as not being able to be in a relationship or have sex, but I am very capable of loving someone and being loved. Drea is doing so much good just by being on screen.

Everything Is Gonna Be Okay is centered on grief, among other things, and portrays it in such an emotionally effective way. What have you learned about grief from being on the show?

It is such a roller coaster of emotions, isn’t it? Grief is so personal to everyone. I have always shown emotions very differently and not in what is considered an acceptable way. I often self-stimulatory behavior to let out emotions. My dad says I make holes in the floor from pacing. We have often danced as a family in celebration or in sadness. That scene in the pilot where the family danced after the funeral was so real for my family. We are often judged for how we express ourselves, but there is no wrong way to express emotions.

It’s so great that your service dog has been welcomed by the cast, frequently seen in cast mate Richard Kind’s trailer, and was written into the show. What has incorporating your dog into the show meant to you?

Isn’t he the best? Luke being incorporated into the show meant the absolute world to me. First off, I get to have the best scene partner. It’s also been great to have him there as an unbelievably accurate representation of a service dog.

He literally is the first service dog to play a service dog EVER. Service dog representation is horrendous and very few people are educated on service dog laws. Just seeing that he exists is going to make a world of a difference. I am glad to be able to consult on service dogs and be a part of showing how important he can be to someone like me. Luke, you rock!

Your non-profit “Our Tism” is so important. What do the workshops that you conduct with your sister, Chloe, focus on?

I host a workshop with my sister Chloe Estelle and Danny Raede called “What I Wish My Parents Did Differently.” We talk about how to raise an autistic child and embracing the unconventional. We have a lot of laughs and stories along the way.

Chloe and I also host a workshop called “The Spectrum Experience” where we explain what autism is. We found that even with intense research, it’s hard to understand the scientific language, so we lay it all out plainly so it’s easy to understand. A lot of people come to us with the question “I am autistic, what do I do now?” and this workshop is our answer.

It’s so important to see disabled folks portraying disabled characters. What do you want to directors and other film staff to know about portraying autistic people realistically on TV?

First off, thank you. Just the thought that you are attempting inclusion is so important. What I would say is take care to portray an autistic character properly, otherwise it looks like you are making fun of a very vulnerable population. The best thing to do is bring in actually autistic voices into the conversation. Talk to the actually autistic community every step of the project. or even better, hire autistic individuals. No one knows what it’s like to be us better than us.

Meet the Author

Ashley is a freelance music and entertainment music journalist whose work has been featured in Ebony, The Daily Beast, Cosmopolitan Magazine, and more. When she's not writing or catching up on the latest celebrity, entertainment, or culture news, she's down for roller skating, discovering new music, and a good bowl of pasta.

Meet Lillian Carrier, The Actress Fighting For Authentic Portrayal Of Autistic characters On And Off Screen

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